


Co-Existence

by HolaCarmilla (LilyHoncho)



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 04:50:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4774166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyHoncho/pseuds/HolaCarmilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hollstein. Takes place after S2Ep30, a little drabble I wrote because I’m trash and this is how I deal with emotions. Hope you enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Co-Existence

     You leave though you’re not sure why. Despite every bone in your non-living body screaming for you to tear one of those imbeciles apart limb from limb, you don’t do it. Instead, your gravelly voice raises to compensate for the quiver that’s worked it’s way into it, and your brow hardens to keep watery eyes from showing just how weak you feel. You wanna scream, hell, you want to cry, but you’re too goddamn surrounded by your emotions to let any single one take over. There’s a sharp sting of betrayal that pangs in your still beating heart when you find out just where Amazon learned how to kill your sister. And just when you thought you couldn’t be any more overwhelmed by this mortal world.

     Yeah. You get out of there as fast as you can after getting your message across. You will kill. You don’t know if you mean it, though your vampiric constitution tells you that you have to mean it (you fear part of you only said it so that they’d leave you alone.) It’s too human of you to doubt yourself, so as you damn near speedwalk across the hallways of this godforsaken university, you assure yourself that you mean it. If you see a single one of those misfits again, you will kill them. They’d been warned.

     It isn’t until you’re alone, albeit slightly lost because you just kept walking (you needed to get away) that you let yourself cry. Your leather-clad back collides with stone and bricks as you fall back against some alley wall in the middle of town, thankful for the night sky that has covered the horizon for more reasons than one. You can’t imagine what you’d do if some poor civilian found you like this, found you at your low point. (You’d probably kill them.)

     There’s a whimper that leaves your tense lips before you register what’s happening, your eyes swiftly shut to rid themselves of salty, hot tears that all but rush out of you. God, you feel so stupid. Mattie was right (about everything) and now all you have left is effects of your foolish ways. Foolish is an understatement, but you can’t help that your mind defaults to words Mattie’s used to describe you already. You were so blinded by your love for Laura that you didn’t see what it was doing to your life (undead as you may be), your family, and your morals. Sure, there were times where you hated your mother, times that Mattie said some things that you didn’t quite agree with, but these were people that you knew - people that were there for you in days where girls like Laura didn’t exist. Laura is a child in the grand scheme of things, her perceived innocence and naive views of the world might’ve been what initially drew you to her, but by now you’ve really learned at what cost. Entertaining the idea of love with this girl, this child - Mattie truly wasn’t wrong when she’d said there was no way any mortal girl could love you. The dark beauty of the world’s rotting core…

     You wonder if Mattie would still say that if she saw you now, eyes puffy and shot with red. Everything within your body burns, your eyes, your face. You’re feeling things both physical and emotional that you thought you’d long since given up when you gave up your human life. It’s almost ironic how characteristically human mistakes led you to this feeling. Humans are the ones meant to be weak, not a centuries old vampire like yourself, who never should’ve thought twice about some girlish little journalism major. Only _fools_ fall in love.

     You don’t think you’ve been called a _fool_ enough for where it’s landed you. In fact, you might just be the biggest fool in the world right now, to trust Laura - some girl, based solely on how you felt about her. It’s not like you’d known her for ages like you had Mattie or your Mother. You set alight to everything you knew for her, only to have her turn her back on you and run and tell secrets that weren’t yours in the first place to another girl you trust even less.

     You wanted to believe Laura wouldn’t betray you like that. But, like everyone else, it was to be expected. No one could ever love Carmilla Karnstein, especially not _Laura Hollis_.

As your shaky legs lift you back to your feet, you decide you don’t want Laura’s love now anyways.

You think, if only for a moment, that you just told yourself yet another lie - but it’s not like it makes any difference now.


End file.
